Stick it up your bumper

On the way to work today I saw a bumper sticker on the back of some guy's (a-hole's) truck that said something like "If you think it's OK to abort babies but don't support the death penalty you must be a LIBERAL".

This offensive piece of 'christian' propaganda was accompanied by a McCain bumper sticker and a Jesus bumper sticker (each just had the name - McCain - Jesus). The enlightened one wanted to be sure to let everyone know he was a Jesus Man by God - just in case there were any doubts left by the abortion/electric chair sticker.

Fine - I'm fine with the McCain sticker and whatever about Jesus - I still maintain he doesn't want the advertisement (says so in the Bible to pray and do so in private b/c God can see everything you know and he doesn't need a publicist or campaign manager).

I digress...

So for whatever reason or impulse I rolled down my window and said "Maybe you should look up the word liberal". He smiles his cocky smile that makes me want to cold cock him. And I give him a big thumbs up and drive away.

What I really really really wanted to say though was "I believe in killing babies AND murderers - what does that make me?" But I didn't...and that's not really what I believe.

But it did get me to thinking - what does it say about me that I'm pro-choice and pro-death penalty...and what does it say about the other side - the pro-'lifers' who are also pro-death penalty...perhaps that I'm consistent?

Politics and Velveeta

Hillary was saying last night at the DNC that she and the Dems work towards trying to make sure that 'merican's have enough money to buy food, gas, homes, and still have a little left over... and I say "Hooray"!

Actually I started crying and blubbering on to B about how I want to have money left over after buying all that stuff but damnit if the Velveeta doesn't cost $7 a box!! How can I afford to have left over at SEVEN BUCKS a BOX people - I can't even begin to explain the economic ramifications of this - it's mind bottling really.

And that's why I'm voting for B.O. so I can once again buy Velveeta at a reasonable price. That and the whole pro-choice thing, the gay thing, the 'it's ok to help those less fortunate than us by providing some assistance now and then to those that need it' thing, the 'green' thing, the black thing, the whole thing.

I don't care if you call his wife a Bitch - strong black woman that she is, I don't care if you call me a 'crazy liberal' or if you think I'm going to hell for voting for a Democrat, I don't care b/c this is America damnit and I can vote for whoever I want to and so can you...

Gone Country 2

B and I caught the first episode of the new season of Gone Country 2 last night (killing time until the Closer and Saving Grace). For those of you that don't know, Gone Country is a reality show starring John/Jon Rich of Big n Rich fame and a bunch of B Lister's or semi-has been stars who want a shot at country music stardom. John Rich will produce a record/song for the winner.

Anyway...this season's cast includes Irene Cara, Lorenza Lamos, Chris from N'Sync, Sean Young, Mikala Gordon, and Sebastian Bach oh and Jermaine (Dynamite [still love that song]) Jackson...and maybe others but that's good enough for the point of this pointless blog.

So we are watching and I'm quite fascinated honestly and I think I'll watch again...but I'm basically running commentary on all the 'stars' and I'm especially hitting Seb Bach pretty hard b/c he's fallen so far away from the barely 20 year old beautiful angel boy that he was in his Skid Row days.

Remember his long shiny hair? Remember his delicate features, the golden skin, the trim, lean figure he was in those snakeskin leather pants? Now he's just a yellow skinned, puffy faced, baggy eyed, frizzy haired almost has been. And it makes me sad.

As sad as it made me though I had no problem wailing on him, dissing him, criticizing him for letting himself go...until...until he started singing "Remember Yesterday" in all his howling screaming 80's hair rock glory....then I threw my panties at the TV, lit my lighter and put my hands up in the air and swayed back and forth with the rest of the crowd in my living room.

And by rest of the crowd - I mean me, just me. But I will say B was singing along and we were both doing our own renditions of the song all night long and waxed nostalgic about what a great song it was/is.

Sunday school lesson

While watching a Hidden Valley Ranch commercial this afternoon that was playing 'Pleasant Valley Sunday" as the jingle I turned to Bugg and said 'What does it say about God that he would let two of the Beatles die and let all the Monkees live?'

(I love the Monkees btw - but there is a big ol difference between the two groups)

Star Sighting

Saw Faith Hill today at the mall. She is beautiful - of course - even without makeup and with her hair in a messy ponytail. She had on jeans and flip flops that I'm sure cost as much as we pay in rent, the shiniest red toenail polish, and a light yellow diamond ring as big a round as a quarter, and a ridiculously cute/firm butt.

I gave her my phone number and I think we are Totally going to hang out and be new BFF's.

Double D

Finally! The new Dunkin' Donuts has opened! It is only 10 minutes from the house! I called the store this morning hoping to find out info about when they opened (the sign yesterday said 'opening soon'). This was how the conversation went:
Manager: "Mt. J Dunkin' Donuts"
Me: "Yes, when are you opening?"
Manager: "We opened about 6 hours ago"
Me: "YEA!!!"

Then I composed myself and sped over to have a cup of coffee and bagel.

Mmmmm

The Vermonster...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vermonster

I had no idea this existed until this evening ~ saw it on the History Channel's Modern Marvels.

Oh happy day! (Nevermind the 7000 calories and like 400 grams of fat...just you nevermind!)

The UPS & downs of my ride into work

1. Lovingly coo and pet VB3 as we head to doggie day care
2. Squeeze the steering wheel tight and control urge to yell at slowest person on earth in the left lane
3. Check my makeup in the mirror - looking good hottie - way to go
4. Drop off VB3 and turn on the 'thank you so much have a great day' smile and charm
5. Anxiety and frustration building as I creep along in traffic towards the office
6. Start crying after seeing a yard full of Latino children waiting for the school bus - their parents waiting with them - everyone socializing and happy
7. Makes me think of Boston for some reason and Fall and the tears really start
8. Pull into work parking lot just as Santa Monica comes on the radio - spend the next several minutes in the car ~ radio turned UP ~ screaming along to the song
9. Head into the office ~ reved up from the song ~ ready for my first cup of coffee

Word of the Day

clinquant (KLING-kunt), adjective: Glittering with gold or silver; tinseled.

'Best' Pro-life Bumper Sticker

If Mary had been pro-choice there would be no Christmas

What? No Christmas? No presents, trees, ornaments, fruit cake. Phew - Thank God Mary made the right choice.

Wrong on so many levels for me...

I've been thinking a lot about why I am so annoyed by the grocery store lady and the coffee pot people.

I've talked about it with Steve and Stef and they had some interesting insights. Steve thinks that people just don't bother to show common courtesy and Stef said that we all have boundaries and when people cross those boundaries we get upset. Some of us internalize it...others not so much. Both ideas make sense and are part of the anger. And then there's Heather who thinks we are hard wired way back from the early days to be warriors and we want to fight it out b/c it's part of hunter gather days.

I think it's b/c I try to be considerate of people around me and I'm held responsible for my actions and I think they should be as well. And yet people sometimes act like they can do whatever they want without answering to anyone and without being considerate of anyone around them.

Also the other part of the story is while I was at the store (before the lady upset me) I was standing in front of the produce cooler - out of the way - looking at the fruit - and I look around to see who is around me and there is a woman standing there behind me - and instead of going around me (which would not have been difficult at all) she clearly expected me to move. So I did - she passed me without so much as a nod or a thank you. It went down hill from there I guess.

And I'm not a saint, I cut people off but usually it's not intentional and if I do it I sure as hell raise my hand and give a wave and feel bad for being an a-hole. Is it too much to ask for a wave? A nod? A little bit of consideration? I also make coffee in the mornings - full caf and decaf even though I only drink full caf - but I know people drink decaf and I try to make it so it's ready when they get in. I also appreciate the fact that other people make the coffee for me in the morning if they get in before I do.

All in all both of these things are trivial and it shouldn't set me off so I guess I'll work on tolerance and patience and try not to take it personally. But...if I find out who you are coffee pot people I won't let you off the hook. And I have rammed the cart of an 11 year old girl in a busy Target after she cut my mom off with her cart - walking around bratastic as she was. I'm not proud of it and my dad was mortified but maybe next time she'll pull her brat ass out of her head and pay attention or give a sh*t that she was rude. Or perhaps it's all in vain and I'll stroke out from the stress of it all.

And don't even get me started on the hateful heffer - she really sets off my 'i'm not accountable for my actions and can do whatever i want b/c i'm queen heff of the heffers'.

Good night.

ALS Walk

A big thank you to everyone who has sent in donations in support of the ALS walk on Oct 11th. This is the first time I have done anything like this and I have to say it's a great feeling to see how generous and supportive my friends and family are. Ya'll some good folk fer sure! I've already reached my goal and plan on setting it higher and see how much we can raise.

Thanks!
Click here to visit my personal page.

Thank god I'm not the only one...

My Sharpie/Highlighter Rampage

I love my job, where I work, who I work with...I love the free coffee and soft drinks, the bagel/jeans Fridays, and the free lunches we get on a monthly basis during our all hands meetings. But I HATE the tool(s) that leave the coffee pot ON after they take the last cup and then leave it on the burner EMPTY. It drives me outta my mind.

In the last few weeks there have been several instances where this has happened. It's dangerous, it smells awful, and it ruins the taste of the coffee for awhile no matter how many times you wash out the pot - that is if the coffee hasn't burnt permanently to the bottom of the pot and you have to trash it.

Yesterday I went into the break room and there it was again - burnt friggin coffee - someone was too lazy to turn it off or make more or whatever - and it was there burning, smelling, making me crazy.

So I took a highlighter and a marker and I made arrows and highlights all over the sign (see pic) that is currently posted on the coffee maker that basically says 'hey if you take the last cup fill it up or turn it off'. I don't know if people can't read, if they don't care, if they are just beyond lazy or what - but COME ON! How hard is it? We have a sign for you!

This morning I found out our HR director is driven over the cliff by this as well. I can't tell you how good it felt to talk with someone else who is driven nuts by the little things in life. It makes me feel normal/sane/good to know that someone else feels the same intense irrational need to write in big letters on the wall "HEY F*CK STICK - THIS SIGN HERE ON THE COFFEE POT - THE ONE I KNOW YOU SEE - IT'S FOR YOU!!! AND UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO BASH THE COFFEE POT OVER YOUR HEAD YOU WILL START TURNING IT OFF OR MAKING MORE COFFEE - AND IF I FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE YOU HAD BETTER START RUNNING!!"

Listy list

1. Tori Spelling are you sure you should be saying no to the 90210 gig? 20k an episode is better than $0 and your momma may decide she doesn't like you again and you might end up poor like the rest of us.
2. RIP Isaac and Bernie.
3. Argh!! to you Olympic women volleyball players - with your long legs and your perfect butts and washboard stomachs. I can't wait for the Olympics to be over so I don't have to look at pictures of them anymore. (p.s. I was a score keeper for our volleyball team in Jr. High - I was super cool). (p.s.s. writing that sentence made me laugh out loud remembering the chubby, bespectacled, wish my hair feathered, awkward days of Jr. High). My brother asked me one time a few years ago how I never killed myself as a result of the teasing and torment I faced growing up a fat kid. It was actually pretty funny the way he said it, still makes me laugh. Now back to the list...
4. I've been off the 'meds' for a month and sadly when faced with a traffic jam at the grocery store in front of the meat aisle yesterday (and the produce cooler) I was just an impulse away from taking my cart and repeatedly ramming it into the cart of the lady (and the lady herself) who somehow kept finding me in the store just so she could be in my way and try my patience. Dear God, if this is a test I'm going to fail if I haven't failed already. I don't know how to change it- age has made it worse, therapy didn't work.

Roadtrip Singin

Quality of the video (and the singing) is not so good but it was a good time!

Cincinnati Road Trip

It's like a prom picture - but not quite as awkward

Jaycee and Chesie

Danger Duck Pardue

omg we are so cute!

Steve and his boyfriend Darren - me in the background trying to get attention

Steve's boyfriend Darren with his wife Rese (my girlfriend)

Had a fun weekend with Rese and Darren (Due-Rock) and Chesie/Jaycee. We got lost a few times - saw some seedy parts of downtown during one of those adventures. Took in a Reds game - third row back from third base line. Weather was great, company was too - we laughed loudly and had a good time.
Posing in front of da Waffle House

Downtown Cinci

Darren's foot's first road trip

Are we home yet? We are so sick of you Bugg's.

ALS walk

Check out:
http://web.alsa.org/site/TR/Walks/TennesseeWalk?pg=personal&fr_id=5220&fr_id=5220&px=1943374

to help support PureSafety/my team in raising money for ALS.
Thanks!

Weekend in Mascoutah

Spence on the super slide

A view from the top of the Ferris Wheel - taken by me when I finally opened my eyes

Dragon Wagon

Steve & Skylar on the Ferris Wheel

Sending a thought out into the Universe

May the hateful sh*tbag be held accountable for their actions.

Thanks!

First Aid Kit

We went to the STL Zoo today. I thought I was pretty prepared with my new Eddie Bauer tote bag; just right for carrying step-kid stuff. I'm such the organized together step-mom don't you know?

The oldest asked me what I was carrying in that big bag and I rattled off a list - sunscreen, sunglasses for their young eyes, disinfectant wipes for their dirty hands, camera to capture all the zoo moments. He then asked me ' and a first aid kit'? I replied a bit deflated 'no , no first aid kit - I'm still trying to figure this all out'. To which he said 'it's ok you're still new at it'. Just one of the reasons I love him ;)

It's a pretty good metaphor for how I feel when it comes to this step-momish stuff...I've got a few of the necessary tools but no first aid kit, and extra tools I need to get rid of, like limited patience, a potty mouth, a quick temper, and low tolerance for whining. But other than that I'm kicking butt at the instant family thing.