You Suck and that's Sad

I'm almost 40 - when will I quit apologizing and/or pandering/cowering to people who suck? I'm smart, funny and damn it people like me. I'm also competent at my job; I bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan damn it and yet the littlest thing can throw me an emotional curve ball.

Example: A co-worker has a seriously bad attitude. Comes in every day looking like someone died. Maybe someone has died I don't know. Nevertheless they are downright bitchy and have been for two solid months. Bitchy to certain people and fake cheery and bright to a select few. I'm talking ignore you point blank when you say good morning bitchy - a degree of bitchtasticness the likes of which I haven't seen since..well ever really. My first thought was 'oh god what have I done'? I have worried myself sick over it. I tense up when they come around, get nervous when I have to work with them in a group setting...have politely asked "Did I do something to upset you?"

It's taken me several weeks but I've come to the realization that it has nothing to do with me. For the last several weeks I've tried to make conversation, be nice etc. and I've decided I no longer care, it's not my problem, and I give them two options: 1. Kill yaself. 2.Quit your job if you're so miserable b/c I (and several others at the office) are sick of looking at ya face.


Example 2: Customer emails me a meeting request - states in email anytime after Mon 22nd. I write back how bout next week on these dates and times will work. She writes back and copies my boss, "As I stated in my email March 22nd - please provide me with the correct dates". Well....I read and reread your email Ms. Customer and March is nowhere to be found - You said Monday the 22nd which just so happened to be this past Monday - How bout after I politely point out YOUR mistake you write back a quick note acknowledging YOUR mistake? This bugged me for 3 days. I was so embarrassed when I thought I made a mistake - it took me 15 min to get up the courage to send out another date/time request b/c I was afraid I was going to 'mess up' again. Really? How bout I grow a set and get over it? Of course it would be easier to get over it if she would admit she was wrong :)

A Tribute to Love

Brownie Love (courtesy of Allison)
True Love
Father & Son Love
Puppy Love

A visit with Jackson

Photo and person of the day

This is my friend Nate. This is Nate in his 'picnic' shirt. I told Nate this morning that I liked his shirt and he told me he has a pair of shorts that match, but that he doesn't wear them to work, although he does wear the shirt and the shorts together outside of work. So of course I had to take a picture.

Nate is awesome. Seriously - I wish you knew him (for those of you who don't). He's a very interesting person. He teaches bible study to youngins' even though he's a youngin himself - and yet he's not judgmental of me at all when I say inappropriate things or curse. He has a sweet wife and cute baby girl. He's funny and laid back and works in customer support - and honestly you have to be a special person to put do that job well and he is and he does.

Happy Valentine's Day Weekend!

What I've learned

It hit me last night, hard, that no matter how long a person lives it's never long enough, especially for those they leave behind. 99 years is not enough time.

Yes you can be lucky enough to have your grandma for all of your 37 years (and counting) and yes you can be comforted by the fact that they lived and are living a wonderful happy life but when it comes time to say goodbye I'm selfishly just not ready.