Weekend Rituals

It is my habit to have Dunkin Donuts coffee and a Double Chocolate donut on Saturdays and brunch at Legal on Sundays. I didn't make it to brunch today but opted for two days of donuts instead. In the elevator I met an older man who I see regularly on the bus. He's the nicest guy; retired and works part time as a tour guide for various visitors from all over the world. Interesting man and I enjoy chatting with him. Turns out he was going to DD as well and offered me a ride. We got our fix and as we were exiting the car to go back to our apartments I hear two large uh farts (fahts). I was so startled that for a minute I thought they came from me. I then hear two more and realize...nope not mine. Of course I didn't say anything about it and neither did he...but it got me to thinking...is this what we have to look forward to in old age...random, uncontrollable flatulence?

I have to tell a lil story on my G'ma related to this. Now G is the epitome of a grandma, sweet, innocent, polite ~ the whole granny package. I've never heard her say a bad word, never heard her burp, belch, or even hiccup until one holiday dinner. G was making dinner~she and I were the only ones in the kitchen and I hear the tiniest toot from her side of the room. Shocked into laughter I asked her if she did indeed let a teeny toot rip. She laughed and said "Well I didn't think anyone would hear me!" She's 95 and I guess flatulence that age is ok and you've earned the right to toot, fart, pass gas, whatever in your own kitchen. I still though hold out hope I don't fall victim, at least not too often, to the terror of the accidental toot. If you know me I've probably shared with you my avoidance of letting the gas escape...unless it's a burp...I seem to have no problem belching with the best of them. At any rate...I rarely pass the gas...I'm so bad that on the few occasions where I've let one escape while sleeping (for some reason I wake up right as it's happening) I will blush...even when I'm alone. I'm embarrassed even for myself to hear it.

Probably a little too much information today but I found it funny. :-)