Burgers

We ate dinner tonight at Mr. Bartley’s in Harvard Square ~ a place famous for their hamburgers. The quarters are cramped and you so much as inhale and you take up space at the table next to you. The three college students sitting next to us ordered three burgers ~ medium rare to rare. What I witnessed after the burgers came could have been a scene from animal planet. They literally tore into the bloody burgers with the speed of a sprinter on crack. I swear I’ve never seen anything like it. In a flurry of condiment activity never seen before on earth one girl ~ the alpha of the pack ~ had pickles and onions flying through the air as she prepared to attack her kill. She took a handful of pickles from the jar on the table and threw them on her burger ~ then licked her fingers, and ever so gently took two pickles off the slab of cow and returned them to the community jar! Let me repeat…licked her freakin’ fingers and using those saliva covered digits, picked up the pickles and put them back INTO the COMMUNITY pickle jar! A treat no doubt for the next diner. All three of them commence with the carnage and it’s all blood, meat, bones, fur – flying. When finally satiated Alpha then caps it all off with three huge nose blows into the flimsy napkins on the table. Of course, the snot infused napkins go right onto her plate to share with the unsuspecting waitress who will clean the table.

http://www.hollyeats.com/Bartleys.htm