The Reason I LOVE Doggie Day Care

Passed out cold...

Rachael Ray is annoying...

but I don't think she or Dunkin Donuts supports terrorism. I think the whole thing is a little ridiculous.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080529/ap_en_tv/dunkin__donuts_ad_pulled

Serious Ramblings

Mushrooms growing inside a tree at the dog park

VB3 has been to the doggie park three times in the last several days and I have to say it's the best thing EVER! After she's done sniffing butt and chasing tail she is worn out! She seems to make friends easily. See examples below:

1. On Sunday morning she went up to Sophie the French Bulldog's owner and took a sip of her Starbucks iced latte. b/c of course this total stranger wants dog tongue all over her straw.


2. Immediately upon entering the dog park yesterday she got humped repeatedly by a nasty half poodle half beast. Yes my dog is smarter than your honor student, cuter than your honor student and obviously can get laid more than your honor student.


3. She then went on to Nose through Butters the Bichon Frieze's mom's friend's purse and then proceeded to walk right in front of Butters' mom at which point she promptly got her head stepped on. And yes Butters from SouthPark.


4. Finally yesterday she found a BFF in a 7 month old Cocker Spaniel who I think would make a great romance novel cover model if they had such things for dogs. This Cocker had THE most gorgeous blond 'hair' I have ever seen on a dog. At one point she stood on the hill and the wind blew her hair back and I swear it looked like a scene out of a soap opera, cheesy christian rock video (if only she had been standing on a cliff near the ocean), or an "I can't believe it's not butter" commercial.

In other important matters Bugg and I did something awful last night. It was nine o'clock and we both wanted something sweet so I made chocolate chip cookies (the kind that come in the big tub you buy from school kids and keep in the fridge).

Yeah so I made 12 of them and I'm not lying when I say we ate every last one of them before we went to bed. Fresh and hot out of the oven - didn't even bother with the milk.

Busy at work

My supervisor sent us the following link today http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/05/22/dnt.fl.man.pinned.in.tree.wplg

Take a look at it before reading further and pay particular attention to the victim's niece...............................................................................................................................

My response to him was "His Niece reminds me of Florida Evans - the mom on Good Times." And I went googling to find a picture of Florida...what I found was even better....Florida's Twin

http://dantobindantobin.com/blog/?p=3768
Interestingly enough I believe the tree incident happened in the state of Florida...perhaps the universe isn't random at all...

#*%&$

Flippin' worst haircut ever!

I ain't Dwayne Wayne but here's what's happenin' (Kid Rock)

Barb, Cade and VB

Had a busy weekend. VB3 and me took a road trip to Mascoutah to celebrate a birthday, graduation, and baby to be.

My brother turned 25 on Sunday, my friend Erin had a beautiful baby shower, and my cousin Clay graduated from High School.

I went back to Louisville for Clay's graduation - first time I've been back in a few years. The farm where my grandpa and mom/uncle grew up has slowly been eaten away over the years as the corn field has taken over what used to be the yard. Now there is only one tree still standing and the smokehouse. Where there used to be a homestead with a barn, trees, a big white house, smokehouse, outhouse, and a few other out buildings there is now a lone tree and the smokehouse in the middle of the field.

Jewels surprised Jared on Saturday night with a party at a local sports bar and I got to hang around a bunch of 20 somethings which made me feel glad not to be 20 something anymore :) Young and dumb and having fun but still glad I'm not there anymore. It was fun though...and most importantly Jared had a great time. Happy Birthday to Snooky too!

The Circuit City Twins. The shorter guy likes to go to parties and drink beer without a shirt on according to Jared and Jewels.

VB3 did a great in the car - she slept most of the way; sometimes in my lap.

True Story

A company had a customer call in complaining that an online test for one of their courses was in Spanish. Technical Support looked up the question in question...here's what they found out (other than woman is possibly an idiot):

Q)
When an employee is favored if they comply with requirements for sexual contact or punished if they do not, it is called:
A)
Nolo contendere
B)
Quo warranto
C)
Quid pro quo

Couple of things

1. It's not OK to drive in the left lane if you aren't going to pass anyone or if you aren't going to go ABOVE the speed limit. Speed up, slow down, whatever you're comfortable with - just get the hell over.


2. It's not OK to leave your turds in the toilet ladies. Flush and Flush again if necessary - I am tired of walking into the stall and seeing it. It makes me gag.


3. It is not OK to fart right before getting onto the elevator and leaving it to linger for me to walk into the stench and then be forced to stand with the stench while I wait for another elevator - all while people are passing me thinking I'm the farter.


4. It is not OK to pop out 18 kids - EIGHTEEN people. Someone asked me if the ladies vagina even closed anymore of if perhaps it's just stayed open and the babies just fell out.

Duran Duran

I LOVED Duran Duran in the 80's. My friends loved them too - we used to pretend we were their wives and we would take turns 'interviewing' each other using our tape recorder and microphone and ask stupid questions like, "So what do you think about John's square chin" in reference to John Taylor's chin. It was actually a question and we thought it was the funniest thing ever and we thought we were so cool with our 'interview' skills.

Of course we all had the posters and the cassettes and watched them endlessly on MTV. Some of us were even lucky enough to have the white jazz shoes that they wore. I was not. My favorite was Roger Taylor - the drummer. Second was John - he's still pretty.

Anyway the whole point of this post is to say that after many years of listening to their music and liking it it occurred to me the other day that I really have no idea what the hell they are saying in most of their songs...I could always pick up most of the words but they really made sense in a logical way - emotionally yes it was easier to get the jist.

Today I looked some of lyrics up to some of the classics - Rio, Hungry like the Wolf, Reflex...and I gotta say - even reading the words I still have no idea what the hell they are saying. It's all very poetic and catchy and sexy and fun but honestly - no freakin' clue as to the meaning of the majority of them.

Hungry Like the Wolf
In touch with the ground I'm on a hunt down after you.
Scent and a sound. I'm lost and I'm found And I'm hungry like the wolf. Strut on a line it's discord and rhyme I'm on the hunt down after you.

Rio

I've seen you on the beach and I've seen you on T.V. Two, of a billion stars, it means so much to me Like a birthday or a pretty view But then I'm sure that you know it's just for you Hey now (wow), look at that. Did he really run you down? At the end of the drive, the lawmen arrive you make me feel alive alive alive.

Great way to start a Wed

I love breakfast time - not so much b/c of the food but b/c of the ritual. I like to come in to work early before everyone gets here and start the coffee, cook my oatmeal or bagel or toast, and enjoy breakfast while I read emails, check bank statements, or do blog type things.

This morning I decided to have toast with peanut butter and honey - one of my favs - and a nice cold diet coke, instead of my usual oatmeal and coffee.

My toast is toasted, the peanut butter and honey spread, my glass is full of ice - ready for the diet coke. It's such a treat, this diet coke. I used to drink diet coke every morning but I long ago switched to coffee; now and then though I love to have a cold bubbly diet coke - especially with peanut butter toast. I crack open the can of diet coke and start to pour it...it sounds different...something is not right but what...is...it...

I slowly realize that I am pouring my diet coke into the jar of peanut butter and not the glass of ice. Sadly about half a can of diet coke lost in the peanut butter before I realize what I'm doing.

Brilliant really.

Snooky gets educated

Snooky graduated with her MBA on Sunday.

We got to spend the weekend with her and her family.

Puppy Pics

May Day

VB3 is deep into puppy hood. She's had two sets of shots, the squirts, made friends with Daisy the neighborhood dog and managed to piss off the cat on a daily basis.

She also has had her first outing/long walk and was fascinated with every single person that went by either on foot or on bike. She sasses back at me when I scold her and loves on me when she knows she's about to be put in her crate and tomorrow she'll have her first visit to the kennel for a weekend stay.

I tell Steve everyday about some new thing she's done - give him details about her potty schedule and talk about how good she is to sleep through the night and how cute she is when she runs after her ball and blah blah boring blah.

I think if I were a 'real' mom with a 'real' kid I'd be one of those obnoxious "look at how pretty my sweet angel baby princess of god's poop is" moms. I'd hate me.

It's been just over a year since I moved to Nashvegas - seriously where has the year gone? It's amazing how much can happen in such a short period of time. New job, move, move again, get engaged, get married, get step-kids, get a dog...and scene.

Snooky is graduating this weekend with her MBA (holla) from UK. We are taking a trip up there to help her celebrate! Congratulations!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiypzraVx0o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4QBc5rfMy8

Field Trip

We took a field trip to Trussville AL to visit the Amerex fire extinguisher facility.

430 miles in one day - not bad though...lots of laughs, some chocolate pie, and passed a "gentlemen's club" somewhere in AL with a very catchy and yet classy name... BOOBIE BUNGALOW.

Had a good time.

Lance - two thumbs up for having to ride in the backseat with me - we did a smokin' rendition of Salt n' Pepa's Shoop. I was Salt he was Pepa.

Reese gives the roadtrip 1 enthusiastic thumbs up

Alissa, Candice, Reese, me, Amanda, Lance, Phillip

Would you like cheese with your whine

A short vid clip of the cat whining at the door. He has it in his head that he needs to be outside and he will literally meow like this for an eternity. He also likes to wake us up in the morning with the 'pitiful' sound too. It's comical albeit annoying.

Half Asleep Ramblings

It's raining this morning. I didn't sleep well and it would be nice if it was Saturday and we could sleep in and listen to the rain; instead I'm up even earlier than usual sipping coffee and listening to the cat talk to himself, or me, or who knows.

Jared sent me a picture of our parent's house - they got rain yesterday - enough to flood the street and up past the mailbox.

The cat has passed out (in the middle of the floor of course); content and satisfied that he got me out of bed way to early. I'm off to get ready for Friday...I'll be sure to wake up Rufus as I walk past him :)

All Dogs go to Heaven

Some of you know but sweet little Violet passed away on Saturday night. She had lots of love in her short little puppy life though but it's been a sad few days.

On another sad note - Super Dog Jake (my landlord in Maine's Lab) was put to sleep today. He lived a long happy life and had lots of love too. He got to spend lots of time running on the beach, loved riding in the car, and kept me company during my winter in Maine. Maureen said their other dog Nellie has been looking for Jake all day.

That's enough dog sadness for awhile.

I told Steve surely dogs go to heaven - there is nothing sweeter in the world than a dog's face and eyes. The debate is still out on cats though - at least in the case of Rufus ;)

Hitting in the Lottery

How sweet would it be if you put a quarter into a change making machine and got $7 in quarters back? How sweet would it be if you put a quarter in 10 times and each time got $7 in quarters back. Pretty sweet.

It happened to someone I know. A mini lottery windfall courtesy of a defective change machine on campus.

In other news Jayrod got a job ~ way to go Jarrito!

In other other news - Operation pick up the cutest puppy in the world is on hold until her cold gets better.

In news past - Stef was here for a visit last weekend and it was so pleasant and relaxing...we ate too much but that was the worst of it. No crazy pictures or wild times at the saloons and honky tonks downtown. Just a nice visit :)

New Link

Through a friend of a friend I came across Melinda's Blog Anything Said. It's one of my favorites and I check religiously. I think you'll enjoy it so I added her to my links. Give it a read.

Dressed for Easter

Violet wishes everyone a Happy Easter!

The headline of the Year

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,339270,00.html

Puppy Butt

More Spam

I got this email today at work - Obviously Spam but it made me laugh- this is what it said - followed by a link to some penis enhancing site:

The face of a man is usually an open book to most women.
They can read practically anything in our faces.
I’ve known ladies who could tell the size of my penis, bank account and the status of my sex life by taking only one look at me.
Of course, the look was followed by the lady’s departure in the opposite direction.

Casual Friday

It's "Jeans Day" in the office today - as well as "Bagel Day" (our CFO brings in bagels from Panera - yes it's a good place to work). So besides the fact that it's Friday this is my favorite day of the week - Jeans and free Bagels.

My question though today is "Am I too casual for casual Friday?" Do I need to wear cute boots or shoes instead of my ultra comfy Merrell sporty sneakers? Is the white thermal long sleeve shirt paired with the orange T-shirt too 'weekendy'?

And finally completely off topic - I had to put up a picture of the cutest thing in the whole wide world - besides me in my 'casual weekend wear' - Violet in Repose. Thanks to V & M for sending me pics this week :) Please notice the cute little puppy butt and the tiny little 'bat' face.

So True

Stef sent me this today

The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more.

We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.' And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me.Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail . And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.' And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail. After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased . . . . . . And Dog was happy. . . . And Cat didn't give a shit one way or other....

More V

Michelle & Valerie sent me pictures of Violet today...I promise not to do this everyday but these are too cute not to post.

Violet

Introducing Violet Bugg. She'll be ours on April 5th. She's adorable - as you can see :)

Always the Planner

I was talking with my parents tonight and the conversation reminded me of something that happened when I was a kid.

There was a place in New Baden (where I grew up) called The Frosty Whip - I love it. http://beaner33.blogspot.com/2006/12/this-ones-for-you.html

At some point as a child I decided (not sure if I ever told my parents until I was much older) that if my parents were ever to divorce I would go live with my father. My reasoning? He would take me to The Frosty Whip and my mom wouldn't.

Fat Kids r Us

Just because women are "plus size" does not mean that they/we/me specifically are 6 feet freaking tall. While I can shop at the 'normal size' stores; sometimes I can't get the best fit - and so I checked out a plus size boutique today and I'll be damned all of the clothes were too big and too long. Most of the shirts in the store came close to mid-thigh and hung off the shoulders.

I'm in the middle...nowhere close to thin and tall...or really big and tall - I'm short and chubby. Yes chubby - that's what I'm going with. So how bout somebody make clothes for me and the short chubsters like me?

I have a butt and boobs, my waist though is smaller so I need something that fits the butt and the thick thighs, but at the same time comes in at the waist. As it is now if it fits in the thighs and butt then you can bet there's a big gap in the back or the crotch is down to my knees. And don't even get me started on the fact that finding pants the right length is IMPOSSIBLE!

I have wobbly arms that need full and true short sleeves - not cap sleeves a-hole - sleeve sleeves.

I don't want my shirts to look like I'm with child - I want them to go in at the waist - not out and flowing - I don't need to stuff it with pillows and various other things like perhaps an illegal immigrant.

I don't want awful prints and clothes that look like a fat prostitute/stripper lost her wardrobe at the store (Lane Bryant is really good at doing this).

And honestly it's been a few years since I've been a regular shopper at the 'chub' stores but today's experience brought back the angst. The anger and frustration and shame of being a 'fat kid' my whole life and trying to find clothes that fit and still look cute and age appropriate.

I guess I could get my chub ass back to the gym...or not.

Jesus & Social Security

I went to the social security office today to officially become a 'Bugg' . I was expecting the worst considering the DMV experience, but I was surprised. It still left me wondering if there was a rich person's SS office somewhere - perhaps a whole suite of governmental offices just for the rich. It also still made me feel like I needed a bath but the wait was only about 45 minutes and there was the happiest man who came in talking about Jesus coming. He was 'preaching' to all of us and no one at the same time and he had the biggest more genuine smile on his face. I would have taken a picture but I didn't want people to think I was making fun of him.

At first I was annoyed b/c honestly the people I normally see doing this sort of thing are several bricks shy of a full load - but this guy was different.

I don't think Jesus is going to show up at the SS office - Jesus and Pedro maybe - but not Jesus Jesus.

DMV Hell

There's a reason people complain about the DMV - it's hell on earth. I've been to the TN DMV twice in the last few months - most recently today - and a few things crossed my mind during the 2 hour wait...

1. They really let some of these people drive?!?!!? Old, high, stupid...it's amazing the people that are allowed to operate a vehicle. It also explains a lot about road rage.


2. Is there a special DMV for rich people that we don't know about? Not that I could afford to go to the rich people's DMV but it's almost like a state fair with the crowd - and not just TN - I'm talking IL/MO/MA - it's all the same. And yes I realize how snotty I sound but I'm just calling it like I see it. So many people sitting there with dead eyes and open mouths.


3. It's dirty and I always feel like I need to bathe when I leave.


4. I could NEVER for any amount of money work at any DMV - I would hurt someone no doubt about it.


5. The people at the TN DMV all have great attitudes and that made the 2 hours standing in the stuffy smelly room a whole lot better. They were working their butts off and I appreciate it.

Rock n Roll Revival

We went with Rese & Darren to see Kid Rock last night. It was the Rock n Roll Revival tour in support of his new album Rock n Roll Jesus.

He put on a great show. 2 hours worth of rock, rap, and country; he even sang "This Little Light of Mine".

It was like a revival - all those people gathered for the same reason - to be entertained/moved by the spirit - in this case the spirit was music.

Love this

saw this today...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080226/people_nm/dutch_annefrank_dc

Vacation Aftermath

The cat is up my ass tonight - He is none too happy that we left him (even though he did have a cat sitter come check on him). Anyway - he's sitting in my lap - pawing my hand as I try to type.

On Vacation

We went on a mini vacation last week to visit my parents in Florida. It was actually sunny and warm this year as opposed to last year's cold rainy weather. Bugg got plenty of sun - he fished away the hours with my dad and burnt to a crisp on his neck and ears. I sat in the shade of the screened in porch and read, did some shopping and lunching with my mom, got in lots of quality golf cart - which is one of my fav things to do in FL. Lee also came for a visit on Saturday (go Lee!) and I'm sad b/c I didn't get a picture with him :( but it was so good to visit with him!! Back to reality now...which isn't such a bad place to be.

This is why you should NEVER sleep in the airport - I will spot you and take your picture - all while you sleep with your mouth open - totally unaware.

Honest Abe

We were in downtown Nashvegas Saturday night meeting up with DeeAnne/Steve and Emma and the derby girls - and as Steve and I were crossing the street we see the Abe Lincoln impersonator.

As we pass him we hear this lady yell "Hey HONEST Abe - tell me, am I going to win the lottery?"

It made me pause and I looked at Steve and said "It's honest Abe - not psychic Abe."

It's not nearly as funny written as I thought it would be - but I'm going to go with it anyway.

Happy President's Day!

Went to the Chapel

We're legit - 2 legit to quit

Just Curious

Why is that whenever you are calling someone (credit card company, bank, cable company) with an automated menu they always say "Please listen to the following menu options as they have RECENTLY changed". Why is it always 'recently'. And why is it always changing? The options have to be pretty standard. Why can't they just say - "Press 1 to speak to a live person"?

And I noticed the other day when Bugg when 'talking' to one of the automated menus that takes voice cues that he raised his voice at it and it occurred to me that I do the very same thing. I can't speak nicely or in a normal voice when I get the voice cue ones. I get a bitchy irritated tone and I practically scream in the phone "OPERATOR"!!!

Does anyone else do this?

Guilty Pleasure

Just so you know I am practically addicted to American Gladiator.

I don't know what's wrong with me - maybe it's the writer's strike and the lack of options; maybe it's Wolf's really really white teeth and Big ol Helga.

Who knows - but I watch it every Monday and I cheer on the contestants and boo at the Gladiators when they play dirty - I wring my hands, bite my lip, and hold my breath as they race towards the finish on the Eliminator.

SNOW

We finally have snow!!!

It's not a lot, but you can see it and it's sticking to the icy patches in the parking lot.

It's beautiful!

Thank you sweet baby Jesus for making it snow!

And another thing

They are trying to bring Bible Park USA to a neighboring town here in TN: http://bibleparkusa.com/

A two hundred acre 'Bible Park' park 35 miles outside of Nashville is being proposed. I think there may already be one in Florida.

It's not a good day for the non-Bible-Beating liberal. Not a good day at all.

The Park’s founder, Ronen Paldi, an Israeli-born American, has a long-held dream of offering a taste of the Holy Land to fellow U.S. citizens who may never have a chance to visit the Holy Land themselves. His vision is the basis of the Park. I will say that at least this part ("seeing" the "holy land") is a nice idea but they have really taken the commercialization of Jesus and the Bible to the extreme - it's getting to worse than Xmas.

:(

Peeved

In TN you can get “Choose Life” license plates for your car – complete with a picture of a baby in the background. To say it irks me is an understatement. Just writing about it makes my stomach twist in knots and I can feel my blood pressure rising.

I don’t know if other states offer these types of plates but I think it’s totally out of line. I can’t quite put into words why I find it so offensive but I do. Something to do with a state sponsoring it I guess is what I find so offensive.

The bumper stickers and the freeway signs, the white crosses in the church yards, and the sign holders in front of the Planned Parent Hoods aren’t enough (not to mention the clinic bombings, doctor shootings, and patient harrassment). I guess you need to flaunt your “morally superior values” and your “Christian like virtues” on your tacky license plates too.

That's exactly how most of them act too - like they are so enlightened and so righteous (and I've talked to them, I've listened to them - I'm not just stereotyping). By most of them I mean the ones that insist on waving their banners and insist on everyone seeing it their way b/c it certainly is the ONLY way - the ones that quietly believe what they believe - I have no problem with.

I looked on the TN license plate website and didn’t see an option for “Pro-Choice”. I want equal time.

It’s so cliché but honestly if you don’t believe in it don’t do it. I think it’s really simple. Keep your beliefs, hold fast to them, but don’t shove your them in my face.

Sneaky

My brother called me tonight and told me kind of a creepy story. See what you think...

Let me set the scene: Jared went to Mardi Gras this weekend in STL and his tennis shoes got dirty with puke and beer (kidding I made the puke and beer part up). He's anal and can't stand dirty tennis shoes so he washed them and put them in the dryer. The sound of banging shoes in the dryer drives him ape shit so he went into his room and shut the door.

He could still hear the clanging banging shoes but they weren't as loud and therefore slightly less annoying. Note that he is the only one in the house - no dog, no cat, no parents, no Jewels - just Jayrod and the sneakers.

After awhile he notices he doesn't hear the shoes clanging and banging anymore - he thinks to self "maybe the shoes found a groove - sweet". Not long after this he goes to check on the shoes and discovers that one shoe is OUT OF THE DRYER and the dryer door is CLOSED - not half closed or a little bit closed but latched closed.

He has no idea how the one shoe made a run for it and somehow shut the dryer door after itself. I'm thinking it's that time in the movie when the audience starts yelling at the screen "GET OUT OF THE HOUSE - RUN RUN RUN!!!