How to tell you're having a bad day

I was playing one of my favorite puzzle games online - Bejewled. I haven't played in awhile and there's a new version out. One of the added touches to V2 is that sometimes when you make an extra special move the game flashes "EXCELLENT" across the screen. Now even though I don't know what moves cause the "EXCELLENT" to appear (haven't figured that out) I have to say it makes me feel good whenever I magically make it happen. It indeed makes me feel "EXCELLENT". And as I was sitting there getting a tiny ego boost from it all it occurred to me that my day is really sucking if that actually makes me feel better. But it does and I'll keep mindlessly playing just on the off chance I can be "EXCELLENT" for a more seconds.

The end of the world

I can't believe I didn't write about this sooner!!!

In news of the supremely bizarre - Tommy Hilger hit Axl Rose at a bar/party the other night. Surely this is a sign of the apocalypse or perhaps the release of Chinese Democracy - same thing really.

Tommy freakin' Hilfiger? WTF?

April Showers bring...

It's Spring and that means the "interesting characters" are out frolicking full force in Central Square. Today the square was loaded with them. I saw drunks talking smack to one another, smelled smells I could have lived a lifetime without smelling, and saw some woman who clearly had had more than one child showing all of Cambridge her stretch marks and excess belly fat, nicely accesorized with a belly button ring.

There is nothing wrong with stretch marks and excess belly fat but I really don't understand the showing it off part. I don't think I'll be able to get the image outta my mind for a long time. I'm happy that she's so comfortable with her body - perhaps we could learn something from her confidence? Or perhaps not.

There are interesting characters everywhere - and some don't have the excuse of alcohol or drugs. I sometimes think I like the drunks and the junkies better than the straight out a**holes.

I smell bacon

I got pulled over this morning. I was out minding my own business taking an early morning drive when I made a left turn – at a green light – and apparently left turners are supposed to yield to oncoming traffic, even if the oncoming traffic doesn’t move when the light changes and even if that non-moving traffic is a cop. I get the whole yield rule – and I did yield for half a second and when the cop didn’t move I pulled out.

I pulled out and he turned his lights on and pulled up behind me. The first thing that went through my mind was “Of course – I haven’t showered; I have on no makeup and greasy hair.” Because for some reason a shower and makeup would make a difference. The second thing I thought was “Crap – I haven’t gotten a MA drivers license yet” and “Holy crap what/where is my registration” I had no idea what my registration looked like or if I really did ever put it in my car.

So officer big belly gets out of his car and bellies up to my car. And I said, “Was I not supposed to do that?” Sincerely not knowing I wasn’t allowed. He answered, “No ma’am, you are supposed to yield to oncoming traffic”. “Why did you pull out in front of a marked police cruiser?” I answered honestly “I really didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to – I’m very sorry.” Then I hand over the MO license and registration (thankfully when I opened my glove box I pulled out the only piece of paper in it – and it happened to be the right piece of paper. He then proceeds to ask me if I know that due to the fact that I have not changed my license I am subject to arrest. I said (voice shaking a bit for drama) "no".

He heads back to his “marked police cruiser” and checks my record out. He comes back and again asks me repeatedly why I pulled out in front of a marked police car and why I hadn’t gotten my license changed. I just kept saying I thought it was ok. I wanted to say BECAUSE EVERYONE IN THIS STATE PULLS OUT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE – HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ON THE JOB MAN?

He let me go – thank you BB – and told me to get my license changed and don’t pull out in front of people again. Of course my only mistake was pulling out in front of a cop. What I did people do everyday – you have to go when you get the chance – just be wary of who you pull out in front of.

Bugger!

Popcorn makes a smelly burp

Does anyone know what "Brazil Nut" means - and I'm not talking about the real Brazil Nut. Tori dropped my Body Shop stuff off tonight at the front desk - body butter, scrub, and wash and it was all supposed to be Cocoa Butter scented but when I pulled out the scrub from the bag it was Brazil Nut and I said really loud in a southern drawl "BRAZIL NUT"?!?!? And Alex and the doorman both started laughing. I thought they were laughing at my loudness but Alex informed me the doorman was laughing because Brazil Nut is the male version of a Brazilian for women. Which made me pee my pants laughing. I think he made it up on the spot which made it funny - but I wonder if anyone else knew this - or perhaps everyone knew it but me. If it's new then I think he should try and patent it like Paris Hilton did with "That's Hot".

American Idol is almost over - and it's anti-climatic. Why do they have to sing the smariest songs at the end? WHY? And why isn't Chris there? Because I didn't vote maybe? But I voted for Kerry and he lost so maybe it's not me.

And why can't Constantine stop giving the sexy eye to the camera? Did anyone catch it right before the break? Ugh.

And why have I been a whiney butt all day? WHHYY?? :-)

I love Fridays

I took this from Emma's blog because it was one of the highlights of the day - this is a conversation that happened at work Friday morning between Carlo and Emma -

Today was supposed to be this big corporate golf outing, but it was cancelled due to the weather. So my co-worker, Carlo was invited and was planning on attending. I asked Carlo, if he even golfed at all. His response?

"Does it LOOK like I golf? I mean, I live in West Roxbury...I have a golf club I swing, but not for playing golf."

For those not familiar with West Roxbury - the best I can do is to have you think of a less scary version of East St. Louis.

And further proof that I should ride the short bus here's a story from Friday afternoon -
I have never really painted before - the only time I remember painting is helping my dad paint the shed one time when I was about 8. I'm pretty sure it ended with my dad cussing me out :-) I wanted to learn in case we needed to paint the new apartment so Tom offered to teach me.

First he shows me how to use the edger tool thing - to carefully and neatly paint a nice 4-5 inch border around the thermostat and the open electrical outlets. (This tool is so handy because it allows you to easily paint around objects in the wall without getting paint on them - that's the whole idea - you can stay a good distance away from them when you use the roller or brush. You probably already figure this out…anyway) Great - love the edger tool! Then he shows me how to load the roller - not too much - not too little - just the right amount of paint. He then proceeds to show me how to paint with the proper technique.

Now it's my turn to take the roller - it's not the short stick roller but the long stick roller. How hard can it be? Well apparently pretty difficult for me. As I get closer to the thermostat Tom and Paul tell me "Don't hit the thermostat" And I’m thinking - Duh! I know that - that' s why we used the edger tool!

So I’m rolling along and I roll right over the corner of the thermostat - not once - but TWICE. Tom kinda looks at me like - "Are you kidding me?" I wasn’t. I don’t know why I hit twice – I wasn’t trying to.

I want to give up but no - I have to try again - so I move on to the lower portion of the wall and jokingly am told not to roll over the open socket - again - DUH! I did it twice with the thermostat I think I get the drift now - Nope. It's like someone took over my arms and I rolled completely over the friggin' socket. Totally covering it in paint! Tom said two things 1. I can see why your dad cussed at you 2. You're fired.

Karaoke

I went to my first Karaoke Bar last night. It was quite an experience - I had no idea how seriously karaokites took it. It was fun - I didn't get up and sing - not enough money in the world to make me get up there - but we did tear up in the booth - singing along with the sing along. I do have to say I gained a better appreciation for DJ's - there is something to be said for keeping the music going - picking the right songs etc. While I know everyone is free to choose whatever they want to sing I think there should be a ban on singing really slow songs at Karaoke. Check out the guy - in the very grainy picture - doing the funky chicken - He was Awesome! Also note Miss tore playing the air bass - not the air guitar my friends - but the air bass! It doesn't get much better.

America Can't Vote

I felt it coming but it still made me throw up a little in my mouth (not really but I think that expression is so funny) when they sent Chris home. I'm expecting him to tour with Guns N Roses later this year. *dream a little dream with me*

Americaon Idol Rocks!??!?

Chris sang my favorite Elvis song!!! Suspicious minds!!! Thank ya! But what is up with the sunglasses? Cheesy!! I am so loving Elliot lately -this is too much pressure - who will be the next to go...I love them all...

EEK!! Chris just sang my OTHER favorite Elivs song. Is this my lucky day? It didn't say anything about this in my horoscope.

This is the fourth time I've had to come back to this entry - Freakin' AI folks are rocking tonight! I can't remember ever liking a season this much! Elliot - sweet lil Pan like Elliot - He better be around another week!

Kristin sent me the great pic of Gary Coleman and David H and the other pic is Jeff - Love it!!!

Red Hooded sweatshirt

No not the Adam Sandler song - I bought a red Boston hoodie a few weeks ago. While I love it because it's soft and warm I have to say there's a part of me that feels a little like a traitor wearing a Boston sweatshirt and not a St. Louis one. I guess I'm lucky to have two places to call home.

On to American Idol - Chris rocked yet again - outstanding - but it seems as though there's been a shift in his attitude - I'm almost afraid to say that I think he might be a little too confident - anyone else see it? Guess that's part of the whole rock star thing - lots of attitude - and yep I'd still buy his album/concert ticket.

Not loving K. McPhee's singing tonight. It doesn't help that I hate the song she sang.
Oh my, what is Taylor doing on the floor? It reminds me of Madonna on the MTV awards way back in the 80's when she sang Like a Virgin. Elliot Y just won me over - I've always had a tiny soft spot in my heart for him but when he sang his second song - Home - he got me. Very nice. What a sad/sweet song -

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

Cinco de Mayo is rapidly approaching!

Jessie's Girl

A long long time ago (1980 something) in a kitchen with red paisley wallpaper and a bright yellow phone (left over artifacts from the 70's) a young girl was promised tickets to see Rick Springfield. Unfortunately due to games young girls play - she was unable to go. The young girl - now more or less an adult - still wears the scars of this event. But this is not a sad tale -Jessie's Girl still makes her dance in her car - and anywhere really - like Molly Ringwald.

I have been reminded of this event many times in the last several weeks - and finally no longer with childlike disappointment but rather an overwhelming sense of happiness. It all started a few months ago when Rick Springfield made an appearance on Ellen - from far away he still looks good (don't we all). Then came the mix CD Tori made - she graced the gem with Jessie’s' Girl and I was struck by how it's just about impossible to listen to that song too many times. Every time I hear it I (several times a week now) I am compelled to open the sun roof and wave my arms about as I sing loudly along with Rick. Finally - tonight - Mr. Springfield opened the Daytime Emmy awards with a medley of his greatest hits. It was like a mini concert in my living room and all is right with the world.

Stuff

It's been awhile. Let's see - Kristin rolled into town last Thursday and Tori, K, and I went out Thursday night - had fun - met some nice brothers from MD and ended up on some website of this guy who was singing at the Purple Shamrock - has to be the worst picture EVER - which is why I won't be sharing the link :) Made a flying trip back home on Monday - it was so nice to get off the plane and smell the Midwest air - it smelled like spring. Jared and I went to Steak N Shake on the way home from the airport - pretty much made my week. The new stadium is awesome! It was great to spend a few days with the family - love you! American Idol - Uh - Katharine McPhee had the ta-ta's out this evening. Oh my lord - how ya doing girls? She's amazingly beautiful - I think not only do I want her face transplanted on to mine - I'll take her tetas as well. Ms. Pickler is gone - I know the boys are sad - but she'll be ok - she's a minx remember!

AI

I'd just like to thank Chris for not letting me down tonight. I was dreading having to put up with Rod Stewart for an hour but Chris came through. He's as hot as Nuno Bettencourt was ala More than Words. I still would rather see him rock but I'll take it. He's just a pretty lil angel.

Since Mandisa left there is really no doubt for me - Chris needs to win.

Love what Taylor did tonight - I love that song and he did a nice job.

Elliot - bless his heart. Pickler needs to stop the madness right now. I am over her stupid girl act. Although when she talks sometimes it does look like there's no one home. so maybe it's not an act. But come on - we get it - you're not the brightest bulb in the chandelier -NEXT!

Ace could get a nice gig as the new Diet Coke Guy. Katharine McPhee - nice job - if I could get a face transplant I'd pick her face to transplant onto mine.

Usually by this time in the season I can't stand to watch a full show but I have to say AI is pretty good this year.

Oh where or where...

Oh where or where has my mojo gone? Perhaps Kristin will bring it with her on Thursday.

Got my nails done today - it was fun to chit chat with Emily. P.S. she's not sick - she just has allergies.

BAMF

Tori, Stef, and I went to see Dane Cook tonight. The first 30 minutes were a little sketchy because we at the very top and the acoustics made him sound like Mushmouth. Thankfully we found the only empty seats left in the place and we were able to move down so we actually got to hear him. Funnah! http://www.danecook.com/

Ooops I did it Again

Had a good day at work except for the unfortunate event that took place on my way to the car. I was walking to my car with P - talking, walking, chewing gum...Y drove by - honked which provoked me to wave - this fourth activity apparently was too much for my brain and body to process and I stepped off the curb - not aware that it was there - and fell directly on my butt. DI-rectly on it. Again just complete and utter shock - so shocked I couldn't even blush. Poor P - I think he was more shocked than I was. I'm thinking I might just go around barefoot and use a walker. GAWD - Idiot! :)

On a happier note - Carlo got a buzz cut today - check it out.

Trivia Mania

"She Kicked me out at 4 am" came in 2nd tonight at Trivia. Three weeks in a row we have walked away with a prize of some sort. Have to say I am loving the pic of Keven giving the Stef tonight's prize - great animation kids - way to work the camera! Also of note is Keven doing a smashing rendition of Friends in Low Places - crazy Canadians! Big Papi aka Dan and Michelle - lovely - just lovely! It must have been love...we'll take Roxette for the win Alec...

Is there a hole I can crawl into? :)

My shameless lack of self control and giggling over the cute boy Jimmy got worse - I had to go into the back room where Jimmy was having lunch with the facilities guys and as soon as I walked in the door I burst out laughing. I caught a glimpse of him and I couldn't talk - literally the only thing I could do was laugh. After about 5 minutes I was able to compose myself and walk back in - I said what I had to say to P and ran out. Smooth yes? :-)

Jimmy is in the Building

Had an unexpected surprise this morning. As I was walking to the building next door I looked up and there surrounded in a halo of light was Jimmy. I haven't seen Jimmy since the first encounter on the ladder. Jimmy is every bit as angelic when his feet are on the ground as he was on the ladder when I saw him descend from the clouds (aka white ceiling tiles).

He was going into the main building I work in so I had to turn around and go back inside to get another peek at him. And again had to suppress the girlish laughter - it's like a Pavlovian response - see Jimmy - laugh like a little girl. I did manage to make eye contact when I first saw him and actually smile...like a normal human being but I was only able to do this because it hadn't sunken in yet who I was actually looking at...

I wanted to get his picture but I couldn't figure out a way to do it that wouldn't make me seem like a - well - a stalker.

Are you clean enough to share my dairy?

I'm pretty sure this is weird but I have a thing about sharing dairy products. I can handle sharing most food with most people I know but I can't under most circumstances share any dairy product with anyone. There's something about dairy and the thickness that makes me think the germs stick around more so than they would on other food products.

~Em, Carlo, and Marika Striking a pose~