4th of July weekend - revised

Despite our plans being rudely and unexpectedly changed we've had a fun 4th. We went out to dinner Friday nigh twith Rese & Darren and her sister Ches and boyfriend JC and Darren's friend Matt. Today we went over the Pardue's and spent the day the American way - food, drink, Corn-Hole, and lots of good conversation and laughs.

It's time for another visit from the Karma Police

Messing up someone's holiday weekend plans is going to cost you big time when the KP catch up with you, you hateful heffer.

http://www.goodkarmafactory.com/

Cock of the Walk

I’m not a man basher or a poor me (womankind) type who feels like I’m always being looked over for promotions and jobs because I have boobs and a vag instead of a wiener to diddle.

However here lately I’ve noticed some very MANLY behavior that has made me stop, scratch my vag and say hmm…

1. At the car dealer this weekend the finance guy kept going on about his Harley, his tractors, his horses, his farms, his trucks, and how much it all cost. Of course he was talking mostly to Bugg and doing it in such a way that it made me feel insignificant. He also went on to talk about how he's on his 4th wife and of course the others were bossy and had to have things their way. Sure buddy - whatever you say. His 4th wife though is great b/c she'll get "right in there and work on the farm". I'm sure she also brings him a beer and makes his dinner and clips his toenails and whatever else the little pecker wants.


2. I was walking through the office the other day and saw one of the managers with both feet up on his desk, kicked back in his chair, talking loudly on the phone - making deals, negotiating, wheeling and dealing, bullshitting his way to seal the deal. It was all very aggressive and typical. I really like the guy but he epitomizes the 'guys guy' in the 'good ol boys club'.

It got me to thinking - what if I (and the other girls in the office - or any office) tried those manly moves.

What if we used our bodies to take up as much space as possible; feet spread wide when standing or arms behind our head to show off our broad, in control shoulders (and boobs) with our feet are firmly planted on the desk while we lean back in a chair (so cliche but yet so real life).

What if we went around back slapping and crotch grabbing our way to victory and domination.

What if we cursed and smoked and drank and went to titty bars and golf courses in the name of business.

It might be fun - except for the golfing. But I think also a tad ridiculous - all that manly BS is a tad ridiculous.

Sarah meet Violet, Violet meet Sarah

Violet giving Sarah the stink eye.

Actually VB LOVED Sarah; she demonstrated this by climbing all over her, licking her, and biting her for pretty much the entire ride. Fortunately Sarah loves animals and Violet is cute so it balanced out.

MEGA Church

Had another good weekend. Wonderful weather, great company, some really good food, and generally relaxing, yet productive.

Had a great mini visit with Sarah who was in town for a conference. We got to catch up and had lots of AHA! moments about various things over a bottle of Pinot G. (yeah I'm slick with the wine talk - it's cuz I'm real refined and sh*t). Ha!

Anyway...also on Sunday before the PG, Steve and I went to church with his parents who were also in town this weekend. As I think I've mentioned before when they come to Nashville they like to check out different churches and we go with them. We've been to a few - some I liked some not so much. This one was a split decision. The sermon actually made some sense but the church was so big that it was sort of ridiculous and I had to stop myself THREE times when we pulled into the parking lot from saying "JESUS CHRIST THIS CHURCH IS HUGE!"

It had 5 different levels, a gymnasium, several kid play rooms, a library, a reception type area for snacks/coffee and this enormous sanctuary with a gigantic balcony, giant TV's for you to see all the action even all way up top in said balcony and a huge altar/stage. (the picture is almost exactly what it looked like).

The kicker for me was when these three HUGE curtains came down on the altar/stage. They rose minutes later to reveal a choir, a group of musicians, and 5 men sitting on big chairs that to me sort of had a 'throne' kinda feel. They kicked the choir into gear and the people got on their feet and the hands starting waving and the AMENS started shouting and I wanted to retreat into a hole.

Some young girls up near the front were really getting down with the Lord - with their hands raised to God, swaying back and forth (like a rock concert for Christ). One girl was pumping her fist with one arm while her other arm was outstretched (up and out) to the point it must have been in the face of the girl standing next to her. The whole time I'm watching this I kept thinking 'If that chick had her arm/hand in my face like that I might have to take her down'.

I'm not making fun of anyone I'm just running commentary on what I saw and how I saw it...I'm not a showy flashy person (I'm loud and obnoxious sometimes but showy) and it makes me really uncomfortable especially in church settings to watch people 'get caught up in the spirit' in such a flamboyant way. I also am cynical and I think the majority of my uncomfortableness with it all is that I doubt the sincerity...I just don't get the whole stage setup for an altar. The choir members that sang solos almost seemed to be auditioning for American Idol, and the 5 men in the 'thrones' just had a really slick look to them.

Evidently at one point when the man behind me shouted out "AMEN" for the 10th time I made some sort 'Humph!' noise. I don't recall doing it but Bugg heard it. It's hard to keep my inside voice to myself sometimes...

Spay - the aftermath

Some pics ofVB feeling the morphine on the drive home from vet. Poor thing.

Friday Wrap Up

It's been a good week. Busy at work, relaxed at home. We've done a lot of grilling this week (I supervise - not so much grill) and not a whole lot else. Rese had dinner with us last night - we chatted the evening away - it was nice.





Pure cheese - after a trip to the dog park.

Tori, Sarah, Kristin, Stef - saying goodbye for now to Kristin as she heads across the ocean to start her exciting new life with J! They all look so happy - I love them.


















<-- Rese's brand new pedicure

















<-- My brand new pedicure

Pupdate

Monday I stayed home with what I guess were allergy related symptoms - it amounted to me doing some work from home and taking naps on the couch with sweet little Violet Bugg.

She has now figured out how to jump up on the couches and chairs (although sometimes she still misjudges and ends up body slamming the couch). But you know how animals know when you don't feel good - well I guess she knew b/c she hopped her cute little butt up on the couch and literally laid on top of me and napped with me.

This act of love and affection makes up for all the stunts she pulls the rest of time; continually and obsessively rooting through the laundry and running off with Bugg's socks and underwear is the most annoying one.

She thinks she's hot sh*t when she does it too - she prances around and kinda sneakily runs off to a corner (b/c she knows she's bad bad bad) to sniff and chew her treasure.

With her new found jumping skills the cat is no longer safe on the recliner or love seat (two of his favorite places). VB3 hopped her a** up on the recliner the other day while Roofus was lounging on it and I thought he was going to have a conniption. He started batting her on the head, hissing, howling, biting and Violet just sat there...looking...waiting...until the cat could take it no longer and jumped down and ran away. VB3 was pleased with herself - the cat - not so much.

She LOVES ice cubes and carrots - she loves to toss them up and chase them around the house. And of course she loves sticks - forget all the toys I spent way too much money on - she'll take a stick any day. Of course it makes a mess in the house but the few minutes of peace is worth it.

She met some new friends at the dog park this week - got humped by some tiny little rat terrier who was adorable but who obviously had some sort of Napoleon complex and felt the need to overcompensate by trying to hump and rough house the bigger dogs.

And finally today is the 'big' day. She gets fixed, altered, spayed. I dropped her off at the vet this morning and will pick her up today after work. I'm hoping she's a little groggy and will chill out tonight.

The Truth about Obama

Love this article from Slate - a nice retort to all those 'Barack is an unAmerican radical Muslim' emails going around. Thanks A.E. for sharing.

The Truth About Barack ObamaRumors the Obama campaign shouldn't try to correct.
By Christopher BeamPosted Tuesday, June 17, 2008, at 5:47 PM ET

The Barack Obama presidential campaign introduced a new site last week, FightTheSmears.com, that it hopes will debunk persistent myths about the senator: that he's a Muslim, that he won't say the Pledge of Allegiance, etc.

As we have argued before, restating the myths often reinforces them, no matter how persuasively they've been refuted.

Rather than restate untruths about Obama, the campaign would do better to start some rumors of its own. Here's a template e-mail the Obama campaign might consider disseminating.

WHO IS BARACK OBAMA?
There are many things people do not know about BARACK OBAMA. It is every American's duty to read this message and pass it along to all of their friends and loved ones.

• Barack Obama wears a FLAG PIN at all times. Even in the shower.
• Barack Obama says the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE every time he sees an American flag. He also ends every sentence by saying, "WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL." Click here for video of Obama quietly mouthing the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE in his sleep.
• A tape exists of Michelle Obama saying the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE at a conference on PATRIOTISM.
• Every weekend, Barack and Michelle take their daughters HUNTING.
• Barack Obama is a PATRIOTIC AMERICAN. He has one HAND over his HEART at all times. He occasionally switches when one arm gets tired, which is almost never because he is STRONG.
• Barack Obama has the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE tattooed on his stomach. It's upside-down, so he can read it while doing sit-ups.
• There's only one artist on Barack Obama's iPod: FRANCIS SCOTT KEY.
• Barack Obama is a DEVOUT CHRISTIAN. His favorite book is the BIBLE, which he has memorized. His name means HE WHO LOVES JESUS in the ancient language of Aramaic. He is PROUD that Jesus was an American.
• Barack Obama goes to church every morning. He goes to church every afternoon. He goes to church every evening. He is IN CHURCH RIGHT NOW.
• Barack Obama's new airplane includes a conference room, a kitchen, and a MEGACHURCH.
• Barack Obama's skin is the color of AMERICAN SOIL.
• Barack Obama buys AMERICAN STUFF. He owns a FORD, a BASEBALL TEAM, and a COMPUTER HE BUILT HIMSELF FROM AMERICAN PARTS. He travels mostly by FORKLIFT.
• Barack Obama says that Americans cling to GUNS and RELIGION because they are AWESOME.
  

What is Wrong with People

I don't know why I bother to half way pay attention to the world b/c people are just sick/crazy/sad sorry excuses for human beings sometimes.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080620/ap_on_re_us/pregnancy_pact
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080620/ap_on_re_us/teacher_bible http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080620/ap_on_re_us/boy_torture

Hooray for the Gays!

The one thing this "Christian" Protestor got right?

Wearing a Devil mask (shows his true personality)

They sure don't look like perverts - they look like two people who are very much in love - who happen to be the same sex. They've been together for 55 years.

6 tasty treats for friday

1. I got a new haircut a few weeks ago and I'm happy with it. No longer the flippin worst ever anymore and Maria is my new favorite hair stylist.
2. House hunting is on hold for the time being - apparently it's a good idea to have money for a down payment BEFORE you fall in love with a house. It's also a good idea to have money saved up for emergencies, new appliances, a lawn mower, and new furniture to fill said house. Oh and finally - good idea to actually make enough money to afford the monthly payments.
3. I do believe that most of us have a pre-determined happy/sad limit - and that we are born being about as happy/sad or positive/negative as we are going to be - that's it. Some people are Pollyanna and some people are Debbie/Dudley Downer. And yes pills can help with some it but for the most part you're stuck with your personality and you were stuck with it the moment you were born.
4. I watched Celebrity Circus this week - and I'm ashamed. It was bad - these people aren't even really celebrities. Well except for Antonio - who cares what he is...put him in some eyeliner and tight pants, take off his shirt and call me happy.
5. I've decided my religious status for the time being is "Confused but searching recovering Catholic".
6. Chicken Road and NE Tater Masher are actual roads in Wilson County TN. Yep - Tater Masher.

Happy Fathers Day weekend!

Say what?

My friend 'S' (for super) has had some trying times in the dating world. Recently though she was handed a nugget of comic relief courtesy of one of the online dating sites. The nugget was an email sent to her from John - a 'young 40' from Medford MA.
Bless his heart really but honestly this is not a good lead off/pick up line/introduction:

HI S,
You look and sound like a real cutie !! I'm pasionate about a lot of things.... music, food, and Tickling Feet to name three. Yup I'm an expert Tickler !! I did research on laughter and ticklishness during my BA in psychology. Since then I have developed a combination foot tickle/massage that is a great stress release and total mind/body healer. Laughter truly is the best medicine. Think you can handle a little tickle torture in your life ?!?! :)

Men here's a tip: Don't lead off with your fetish and don't use the word torture in any context when trying to make a good first impression on a woman. Unless of course you're at a club or on a website for those types of things and you know the chick is into it - otherwise it's just creepy.

My mom is so cute

My mom & our friend Tammy

The Reason I LOVE Doggie Day Care

Passed out cold...

Rachael Ray is annoying...

but I don't think she or Dunkin Donuts supports terrorism. I think the whole thing is a little ridiculous.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080529/ap_en_tv/dunkin__donuts_ad_pulled

Serious Ramblings

Mushrooms growing inside a tree at the dog park

VB3 has been to the doggie park three times in the last several days and I have to say it's the best thing EVER! After she's done sniffing butt and chasing tail she is worn out! She seems to make friends easily. See examples below:

1. On Sunday morning she went up to Sophie the French Bulldog's owner and took a sip of her Starbucks iced latte. b/c of course this total stranger wants dog tongue all over her straw.


2. Immediately upon entering the dog park yesterday she got humped repeatedly by a nasty half poodle half beast. Yes my dog is smarter than your honor student, cuter than your honor student and obviously can get laid more than your honor student.


3. She then went on to Nose through Butters the Bichon Frieze's mom's friend's purse and then proceeded to walk right in front of Butters' mom at which point she promptly got her head stepped on. And yes Butters from SouthPark.


4. Finally yesterday she found a BFF in a 7 month old Cocker Spaniel who I think would make a great romance novel cover model if they had such things for dogs. This Cocker had THE most gorgeous blond 'hair' I have ever seen on a dog. At one point she stood on the hill and the wind blew her hair back and I swear it looked like a scene out of a soap opera, cheesy christian rock video (if only she had been standing on a cliff near the ocean), or an "I can't believe it's not butter" commercial.

In other important matters Bugg and I did something awful last night. It was nine o'clock and we both wanted something sweet so I made chocolate chip cookies (the kind that come in the big tub you buy from school kids and keep in the fridge).

Yeah so I made 12 of them and I'm not lying when I say we ate every last one of them before we went to bed. Fresh and hot out of the oven - didn't even bother with the milk.

Busy at work

My supervisor sent us the following link today http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/05/22/dnt.fl.man.pinned.in.tree.wplg

Take a look at it before reading further and pay particular attention to the victim's niece...............................................................................................................................

My response to him was "His Niece reminds me of Florida Evans - the mom on Good Times." And I went googling to find a picture of Florida...what I found was even better....Florida's Twin

http://dantobindantobin.com/blog/?p=3768
Interestingly enough I believe the tree incident happened in the state of Florida...perhaps the universe isn't random at all...

#*%&$

Flippin' worst haircut ever!

I ain't Dwayne Wayne but here's what's happenin' (Kid Rock)

Barb, Cade and VB

Had a busy weekend. VB3 and me took a road trip to Mascoutah to celebrate a birthday, graduation, and baby to be.

My brother turned 25 on Sunday, my friend Erin had a beautiful baby shower, and my cousin Clay graduated from High School.

I went back to Louisville for Clay's graduation - first time I've been back in a few years. The farm where my grandpa and mom/uncle grew up has slowly been eaten away over the years as the corn field has taken over what used to be the yard. Now there is only one tree still standing and the smokehouse. Where there used to be a homestead with a barn, trees, a big white house, smokehouse, outhouse, and a few other out buildings there is now a lone tree and the smokehouse in the middle of the field.

Jewels surprised Jared on Saturday night with a party at a local sports bar and I got to hang around a bunch of 20 somethings which made me feel glad not to be 20 something anymore :) Young and dumb and having fun but still glad I'm not there anymore. It was fun though...and most importantly Jared had a great time. Happy Birthday to Snooky too!

The Circuit City Twins. The shorter guy likes to go to parties and drink beer without a shirt on according to Jared and Jewels.

VB3 did a great in the car - she slept most of the way; sometimes in my lap.

True Story

A company had a customer call in complaining that an online test for one of their courses was in Spanish. Technical Support looked up the question in question...here's what they found out (other than woman is possibly an idiot):

Q)
When an employee is favored if they comply with requirements for sexual contact or punished if they do not, it is called:
A)
Nolo contendere
B)
Quo warranto
C)
Quid pro quo

Couple of things

1. It's not OK to drive in the left lane if you aren't going to pass anyone or if you aren't going to go ABOVE the speed limit. Speed up, slow down, whatever you're comfortable with - just get the hell over.


2. It's not OK to leave your turds in the toilet ladies. Flush and Flush again if necessary - I am tired of walking into the stall and seeing it. It makes me gag.


3. It is not OK to fart right before getting onto the elevator and leaving it to linger for me to walk into the stench and then be forced to stand with the stench while I wait for another elevator - all while people are passing me thinking I'm the farter.


4. It is not OK to pop out 18 kids - EIGHTEEN people. Someone asked me if the ladies vagina even closed anymore of if perhaps it's just stayed open and the babies just fell out.

Duran Duran

I LOVED Duran Duran in the 80's. My friends loved them too - we used to pretend we were their wives and we would take turns 'interviewing' each other using our tape recorder and microphone and ask stupid questions like, "So what do you think about John's square chin" in reference to John Taylor's chin. It was actually a question and we thought it was the funniest thing ever and we thought we were so cool with our 'interview' skills.

Of course we all had the posters and the cassettes and watched them endlessly on MTV. Some of us were even lucky enough to have the white jazz shoes that they wore. I was not. My favorite was Roger Taylor - the drummer. Second was John - he's still pretty.

Anyway the whole point of this post is to say that after many years of listening to their music and liking it it occurred to me the other day that I really have no idea what the hell they are saying in most of their songs...I could always pick up most of the words but they really made sense in a logical way - emotionally yes it was easier to get the jist.

Today I looked some of lyrics up to some of the classics - Rio, Hungry like the Wolf, Reflex...and I gotta say - even reading the words I still have no idea what the hell they are saying. It's all very poetic and catchy and sexy and fun but honestly - no freakin' clue as to the meaning of the majority of them.

Hungry Like the Wolf
In touch with the ground I'm on a hunt down after you.
Scent and a sound. I'm lost and I'm found And I'm hungry like the wolf. Strut on a line it's discord and rhyme I'm on the hunt down after you.

Rio

I've seen you on the beach and I've seen you on T.V. Two, of a billion stars, it means so much to me Like a birthday or a pretty view But then I'm sure that you know it's just for you Hey now (wow), look at that. Did he really run you down? At the end of the drive, the lawmen arrive you make me feel alive alive alive.

Great way to start a Wed

I love breakfast time - not so much b/c of the food but b/c of the ritual. I like to come in to work early before everyone gets here and start the coffee, cook my oatmeal or bagel or toast, and enjoy breakfast while I read emails, check bank statements, or do blog type things.

This morning I decided to have toast with peanut butter and honey - one of my favs - and a nice cold diet coke, instead of my usual oatmeal and coffee.

My toast is toasted, the peanut butter and honey spread, my glass is full of ice - ready for the diet coke. It's such a treat, this diet coke. I used to drink diet coke every morning but I long ago switched to coffee; now and then though I love to have a cold bubbly diet coke - especially with peanut butter toast. I crack open the can of diet coke and start to pour it...it sounds different...something is not right but what...is...it...

I slowly realize that I am pouring my diet coke into the jar of peanut butter and not the glass of ice. Sadly about half a can of diet coke lost in the peanut butter before I realize what I'm doing.

Brilliant really.

Snooky gets educated

Snooky graduated with her MBA on Sunday.

We got to spend the weekend with her and her family.

Puppy Pics

May Day

VB3 is deep into puppy hood. She's had two sets of shots, the squirts, made friends with Daisy the neighborhood dog and managed to piss off the cat on a daily basis.

She also has had her first outing/long walk and was fascinated with every single person that went by either on foot or on bike. She sasses back at me when I scold her and loves on me when she knows she's about to be put in her crate and tomorrow she'll have her first visit to the kennel for a weekend stay.

I tell Steve everyday about some new thing she's done - give him details about her potty schedule and talk about how good she is to sleep through the night and how cute she is when she runs after her ball and blah blah boring blah.

I think if I were a 'real' mom with a 'real' kid I'd be one of those obnoxious "look at how pretty my sweet angel baby princess of god's poop is" moms. I'd hate me.

It's been just over a year since I moved to Nashvegas - seriously where has the year gone? It's amazing how much can happen in such a short period of time. New job, move, move again, get engaged, get married, get step-kids, get a dog...and scene.

Snooky is graduating this weekend with her MBA (holla) from UK. We are taking a trip up there to help her celebrate! Congratulations!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiypzraVx0o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4QBc5rfMy8

Field Trip

We took a field trip to Trussville AL to visit the Amerex fire extinguisher facility.

430 miles in one day - not bad though...lots of laughs, some chocolate pie, and passed a "gentlemen's club" somewhere in AL with a very catchy and yet classy name... BOOBIE BUNGALOW.

Had a good time.

Lance - two thumbs up for having to ride in the backseat with me - we did a smokin' rendition of Salt n' Pepa's Shoop. I was Salt he was Pepa.

Reese gives the roadtrip 1 enthusiastic thumbs up

Alissa, Candice, Reese, me, Amanda, Lance, Phillip

Would you like cheese with your whine

A short vid clip of the cat whining at the door. He has it in his head that he needs to be outside and he will literally meow like this for an eternity. He also likes to wake us up in the morning with the 'pitiful' sound too. It's comical albeit annoying.

Half Asleep Ramblings

It's raining this morning. I didn't sleep well and it would be nice if it was Saturday and we could sleep in and listen to the rain; instead I'm up even earlier than usual sipping coffee and listening to the cat talk to himself, or me, or who knows.

Jared sent me a picture of our parent's house - they got rain yesterday - enough to flood the street and up past the mailbox.

The cat has passed out (in the middle of the floor of course); content and satisfied that he got me out of bed way to early. I'm off to get ready for Friday...I'll be sure to wake up Rufus as I walk past him :)

All Dogs go to Heaven

Some of you know but sweet little Violet passed away on Saturday night. She had lots of love in her short little puppy life though but it's been a sad few days.

On another sad note - Super Dog Jake (my landlord in Maine's Lab) was put to sleep today. He lived a long happy life and had lots of love too. He got to spend lots of time running on the beach, loved riding in the car, and kept me company during my winter in Maine. Maureen said their other dog Nellie has been looking for Jake all day.

That's enough dog sadness for awhile.

I told Steve surely dogs go to heaven - there is nothing sweeter in the world than a dog's face and eyes. The debate is still out on cats though - at least in the case of Rufus ;)

Hitting in the Lottery

How sweet would it be if you put a quarter into a change making machine and got $7 in quarters back? How sweet would it be if you put a quarter in 10 times and each time got $7 in quarters back. Pretty sweet.

It happened to someone I know. A mini lottery windfall courtesy of a defective change machine on campus.

In other news Jayrod got a job ~ way to go Jarrito!

In other other news - Operation pick up the cutest puppy in the world is on hold until her cold gets better.

In news past - Stef was here for a visit last weekend and it was so pleasant and relaxing...we ate too much but that was the worst of it. No crazy pictures or wild times at the saloons and honky tonks downtown. Just a nice visit :)